State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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