Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
