we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
