haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
