I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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