Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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