you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
