if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I cannot find my penis.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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