Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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