I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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