i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize