Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it's like iHOP with fire
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
