i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize