What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
