like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
These tits shall not be calmed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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