My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
