I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize