I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
