So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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