Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
