we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
