Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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