So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
