okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
