Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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