I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
