I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
