i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
