Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
