yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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