Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
