You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
