No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
