At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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