i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
