Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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