sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
