Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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