i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
