i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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