we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
