You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
