My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
