I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
