it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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