The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They took my balls.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
