Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
