so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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