Sponge bath it is.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
