i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
