I want to have your abortion
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
im on a boat
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