yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
