Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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