dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
