I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
