You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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