Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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