we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
