whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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