She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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