Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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